Standing on our own feet
The secret is that we must stop trying to become who we think we should be and start listening to our true selves.
The Paradoxical Theory of Change
Those demands bring us to the paradoxical theory of change by Dr. Arnold Beisser.* When we stop trying to do our best and are really prepared to acknowledge and accept our survival
patterns, we will find change is at hand.
is not easy, since we need to surrender and have faith, which is hard for any person to opt for. Way too risky. But if we are capable of letting go of our yes/no conflict, our abhorrence, self-critique, and face ourselves instead of running off, if we dare
to have faith that what is happening is right, then the energy now being sucked up by the yes/no struggle will subside and we will have room to breathe freely and choose where we go. This approach alone though, will not solve our problems.
The secret is that we must stop trying and start listening to
ourselves. Creating solutions without listening to our inner voices will not do the trick.
A wise Indian in Native Wisdom for White minds by Anne Wilson
Schaef says it this way: “Every problem the mind resolves, creates ten other problems. What we must do is listen to our heart and our soul.”