The fear of being abandoned


The second fear that can dominate our lives is the fear of being abandoned. When we discover that our mother or another mother figure is the source that provides in all our needs, we get afraid of losing her. Without her we have no chance of survival. Without her our life is empty. Without her we are out of food, out of warmth, out of being held and cuddled. Even if we get a clean diaper and milk but no loving attention, we will feel unwelcome. The question of how the mother can be forced to be present in our life can become dominant. The strange thing is that a mother who spoils us by always being available can make us even more anxious than a mother who neglects us. If we are spoiled we don’t learn to trust our own power step by step and become completely dependent. In the period when we are most vulnerable, we are already confronted with the inevitable existential loneliness of life.


Basic Needs Nourishment, Warmth, Loving Attention

Questions to chew on: Am I afraid to be left alone? Did I have a mother who was there for me? Do I feel spoiled or neglected?